Recognizing the Pain (Responding in Love)

Along the way I’ve discovered that too often I am like a small child, unable to properly express my hurt and frustration, so I throw myself into life, crying, screaming, yelling, weeping, lashing out at anything close, begging someone to recognize and understand my pain.

In the past, I lashed out against the pain and unintentionally hurt those around me; but once I recognized the signs of pain in myself, that desperate cry for attention, I was able to see other’s angry words for what they really were—a cry for help. Only once I stopped viewing their pain as the truth about me, something to internalize, and saw it for what it really was, a cry of help, was I finally able to separate the words from the emotions.

It was then that the world’s angry words finally lost their power to hurt me. It was in the silence beyond those desperate cries for help that I found the truth about myself, not in what my parents said about me, not in what my co-workers said about me, not in what my friends or my pastor or my husband said about me; but instead in what God said about me: You are my masterpiece, Trena. I created you and I love you.

Once I realized that genuine freedom lies in recognizing the beautiful truth of God’s words, once I embraced His truth about me, the opinions of this fickle world lost their power. I was able to step away from my doubts about myself and see the motivations behind the angry, hurtful words the world often hurled at me. Only then was I able to embrace those who tried to hurt me, to love them despite the cutting words they spoke in anger.

This brought me to the realization that the love of God has transformative power; it can turn anger into laughter and tears into joy. And despite the fact that those who once hurt me have changed but little, the change in me is dramatic; God has replaced my former heart of stone with a new tender heart, one that recognizes the world’s desperation and responds in love.

So join me as I ask God, not to change those in my life, but instead to transform me, thus releasing me from the world’s wearisome chains of anger and hate.

Final Thought: It is only the love of God living in me that releases me from the burden of other’s hurtful words and actions.